I realized over time that my strategies to control my children were only getting more intense as they got bigger and more resistant. I also hated whom I was becoming an effort to try and power over them. I resorted to locking myself in the bathroom so I wouldn’t act out on my children, I then proceed to beat myself up for being a “Momster” as I considered myself to be. 

I remember believing that my family would be better off without me.

 

Boy was I wrong. I just really needed a shift in perspective.

 

My instinct tells me that I have not been alone in this struggle. I feel deeply for all the mamas (and papas too), who like myself, struggle in isolation believing there is something wrong with them. 

 

I have come to realize that a lot of the problem is that we were never meant to raise children in isolation, we need the support of others if we’re going to break the cycle of outdated parenting beliefs that have been handed down from one generation to the next.

 

If I can do anything to help lift a family out of the chaos and dysfunction my family once knew then I must follow this path.